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How To Be A Tourist: Oslo Edition

She Lies sculpture

  • Bring a sweater.
  • Bring several sweaters.
  • And a rain jacket.
  • Wear good shoes.
  • When your AirBnB host offers to let you use her hair dryer and straighteners, make an awkward joke about how your boyfriend will be sure to get a lot of use out of them.
  • Keep trying to pronounce every word even though the Norwegians look at you like you have 12 heads.
  • Forget everything you know about phonetics.
  • Keep repeating “skoleboller” until the guy behind the counter shakes his head and just hands you the tasty pastry.
  • Eat all the tasty pastries.
  • Drink 100 lattes.
  • Smile at everyone even though they don’t smile back.
  • Photograph your lattes so the guy who made your coffee can laugh at you.
  • Ask “does this have pork in it?” of everything you think you might possibly want to eat.
  • Almost all of it has pork in it.
  • Eat a yummy hamburger.
  • No, really. Get a hamburger.
  • Repeat the tram stop names each time the automated voice says it. People on the tram will love it.
  • Ride every kind of public transportation! Especially the T-Bane.
  • Call the T-bane “T-Pain.”
  • Seriously though… eat the skolebolle.

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